How to choose a therapist
The process of choosing a therapist can be daunting. From the outside, therapy can seem secretive and difficult to understand. Is the perfect therapist like a doctor—specialised, authoritative and in control? Or stereotypically warm, welcoming and empathetic? What about the overwhelming number of technical terms? Which school, technique or approach should one choose?
Schools and techniques
On the question of therapy schools and technique, research has shown that the specific approach used by a therapist matters much less in producing positive outcomes than other factors such as the therapeutic relationship, client-therapist fit, and the client’s motivation for entering therapy*.
Clients may be interested to learn the general philosophies of therapy schools to see if any particularly appeal, although the experience of being seen by two therapists, even those from the same school, cannot be known in advance.
Existential therapy, for example, deals with issues of freedom and responsibility in the face of death; psychodynamic therapy concerns itself with the unconscious; cognitive-behavioural therapy seeks to uncover belief systems which are unsupported by reality, etc.
Unfortunately, there is not enough space here to cover the hundreds of named approaches. From a practical perspective, suffice it to say a therapist’s modality is unlikely to separate a good therapist from a bad one.
Qualifications and credentials
Genuine therapists will clearly display their credentials, and will be happy to talk about their training and approach. Because psychotherapy is unregulated in the UK, and the internet allows access to an unlimited number of options, take care to research credentials and make an informed decision.
Professional bodies such as the BACP and the UKCP set standards for training and practice among registered members. If you looking for a specialism, such as couples’ therapy or sex therapy, make sure the therapist holds relevant qualifications. (For a more comprehensive list of professional bodies, click here.)
The first meeting
A responsible therapist will take the time to meet prospective clients to understand their concerns and assess if the client is a good fit for their skillset. Good therapists understand the importance of a trusting bond for therapy to be successful, and will offer referral suggestions if they are unable to help.
Signs of a good therapist
Many prospective clients struggle with feelings of guilt or self-blame, low self-confidence, difficulty in trusting others, unsatisfying relationships, or low expectations from others.
Given this, it’s clear successful therapy can only be provided by therapists who are trustworthy, responsible, open, respectful and competent as human beings. These qualities require continuous effort and practice, and are just as important as professional skills.
Here are some criteria to consider when choosing a therapist:
Spots potential
A competent therapist identifies strengths and areas for growth despite the client’s conviction otherwise, names these strengths, and over time, helps the client identify with and actively use their strengths to solve their problems.
Holds high ethical and moral standards
An ethical therapist points out harmful behaviour, setting standards for what the client should expect from themselves and others. An ethical therapist actively lives out their values of honesty, trustworthiness and confidentiality in all aspects of their practice and daily life.
Cares for the client’s well-being
A good therapist always works in their client’s best interest, even if the client cannot do so for themselves. A good therapist does not meet their own needs (for validation, attention, achievement, control, or intimacy) via their clients, and will point out clients’ attempts to appease and please.
Collaborates with you
A good therapist understands their client’s goals, respects clients’ knowledge and experience, and welcomes feedback, especially if they could have done better. They are willing to learn from disagreement and follow their client’s lead.
Holds themselves accountable
A good therapist does not judge, shame or dismiss their clients, and if they do, they do not dismiss or excuse their own behaviour. A good therapist understands their own capacity for harm, accepts responsibility for their beliefs and actions, and understands trust is earned.
Making a decision
After the first session, note how you feel: was the therapist is easy to talk to, did they listen carefully, do they have your best interests at heart, and are they trustworthy?
If you have any misgivings, it’s okay to look for someone else: therapy requires time, energy and money, and you will learn more about what you need and what you dislike as you go along. It’s also okay to change your mind after one or two sessions; think of these as a chance to decide if your therapist might be a good match for you.
A good therapist is an invaluable investment into your future health and wellbeing, and well worth the time spent in finding them.
* Duncan, B. L., Miller, S. D., Wampold, B. E., & Hubble, M. A. (Eds.). (2010). The heart and soul of change: Delivering what works in therapy (2nd ed.). American Psychological Association.
Art: Interior by Magnus Enckell